New Year, Same Human

Goya y Lucientes, Francisco José de. Self-Portrait with Dr. Arrieta. 1820, oil on canvas, Minneapolis Institute of Art, Minneapolis, MN. Accession no. 52.14

The time around New Year’s Eve feels special to me because it exaggerates something we usually try to ignore: we are all imperfect humans.

Everywhere you hear the same slogans:

New year, new me.

I will start doing this.

I will quit that.

We love talking about doing. Execution, though, is a different story.

For years, I was no different. My enthusiasm started strong and quietly faded by the end of January. I had been "trying" to lose weight since 2013, or "trying" to read more while I wasn't even getting enough sleep. When I failed, I shamelessly pretended the goals never existed as if I had never planned anything in the first place. Only to come back a year later with those same old resolutions.

I used to build huge plans around the person I wanted to become, completely ignoring who I actually was. I treated achievement as black or white, instead of noticing the many shades of grey in between.

Then came the wake-up call.

For four years, "move into the new house" sat at the top of my list. We bought a plot and designed it, but then we watched material prices and interest rates skyrocket. In June 2023, I stopped looking at the blueprints and started looking at the numbers. The math was cold and undeniable: if I forced this "dream" to happen, the mortgage would haunt me for thirty years.

I realized that sticking to the original plan wasn't "grit"—it was a trap. For the first time, I allowed the reality of the situation to change my direction. We pivoted, found a house ready for move-in, and by March 2024, we were home.

I’ve finally learned to accommodate failure in my planning. I see it now as an evolution of direction. If I fail at a goal and accept that failure easily, it usually means I didn’t actually want that path. If the desire is still there, I plan it for next year and try a different way.

I look back and smile at my old self. New Year’s Eve exaggerates everything, but it also allows us to believe anything is possible. Especially if we are wise enough to change our minds when the math doesn't add up.